


Scarcity

by orphan_account



Series: Fill the Void [8]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Zombie Apocalypse, discussion of said ED, except no zombies are shown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23246254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Anything can kill you in a zombie apocalypse. It's a high stress environment filled with horror and disease. But Gavin didn't think his past habits would rear their ugly heads when Ryan comes home with a broken leg and everything tumbles out of control.
Relationships: Jeremy Dooley/Gavin Free/Ryan Haywood/Michael Jones/Jack Pattillo/Geoff Ramsey
Series: Fill the Void [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663750
Kudos: 42





	Scarcity

It’s been a number of years since the dead reanimated and brought with them diseases no pharmaceutical company could cure. Since then Gavin has been through a whirlwind of a time. From being unable to leave America, to leaving the cities in favour of open country, to bonding together with strangers from all walks of life, and falling in love with said strangers. There are many unknowns in his life currently. He’ll never know if he sees his family again. He’ll never know if life will return back to the way it was. He’ll never know if he’ll die a ripe old age. But he does know that he is loved, that he has a warm house to live in, and food to see him through the next day. All in all, he considers himself lucky. It’s never always been this way.

They have a house. A lodge that sits on the edge of a small lake. It was probably a retreat for a well off family once, but now it serves as their home—the six of them. They’ve been here for a number of years now, and due to its relative isolation, it’s the safest place they’ve ever set up in. They’ve built a ring of wooden spikes around the perimeter. They’ve invested in chickens and two milk cows. They have an expansive garden and have good relations with those nearby. They’ve come a long way since the scrappy band of travelers had formed.

But it’s not all flowers and roses.

On a simple jaunt off the property, Michael and Ryan return home bruised and battered more so for Ryan than Michael. But it shakes Gavin to the core regardless. Without the aid of modern medicine, anything can mean death, but they understand herbal remedies to a degree. But a broken leg is another matter altogether.

First they have to set the bone and set the leg into a splint. Ryan will be off his feet for weeks. They’ll have to build some crutches for him, keep his leg elevated for the time being.

Then the fever sets in. A high one. Ryan is practically incoherent during those first few hours. It’s hard to get anything in to him. Eventually he settles into a fitful sleep, and the others just have to wait until he wakes and they can try again to get some water into him.

Gavin chooses to settle himself on the stairs. From this vantage point, he can look through the gaps of the handrail and into the room on the first floor that Ryan has been laid out. This is his vantage point. It keeps him safe from the current situation, but near enough so that he’s aware of what’s going on.

Geoff stands at the bottom of the steps and begins to climb them. “How are you doing, Gavin?” he asks softly.

Gavin blinks, tears his gaze away from Ryan. “Fine. Just fine,” he says.

“He’s going to be okay. It wasn’t a bad break in the end.”

No, but it does mean things will change in the household, and Gavin doesn’t know if he’s up for the challenge.

* * *

The problem comes in through increments. It starts so gradual that Gavin doesn’t even realize there’s a problem until he feels it’s too late. It’s been an issue since he was young. Early teens, growing into a gangly, awkward body. Growing up in a household that sometimes struggled for money. The older he got, the more aware he became of his own personal cost to the house he lived in. So he’d do things that he’d hoped would save his parents a bit of money and a bit of grief. Not ask for money to the movies with friends. Maybe he’d pinch a few nick-knacks from the store if he was daring. Or eat a little less during meal time. Cut back on scrounging through the fridge after school. He was going through a growth spurt, but maybe he didn’t need as much as he thought. Anything to keep the harmony, to make it easier for those closest to him.

He finds himself falling into the same habit now. Ryan is … he’s one of the main foragers of the group. He’s strong. He’s a breadwinner of the place. And with the prospect of him being out of the field for at least two months, everyone pitches in a bit more effort. It’s not hard to manage the place with five of them, but Gavin feels Ryan’s absence much more than he cares to admit.

He never thought of it—of what he did as a child—to be a worrisome behaviour. Until he was older and realized that starving himself for the sake of others could be a slippery slope. Indeed by the time he entered post-secondary studies, his eating behaviours had shifted from one of saving money as a form of pressure on himself. He didn’t have time to eat he had to finish a project. Late to class so he must skip breakfast. Always _later._ And apparently that was just as troubling as any other eating disorder you’d hear about in the news or read on some blog.

He just has trouble recognizing the signs and the others … they don’t know.

He works harder in the following days of the incident, can’t stay in the house for too long or he’ll work himself up into a panic. They need to keep up standards here or he fears everything will fall apart. But he doesn’t realize that it’s him who already is.

The first to know something is up is Michael. He’s always been very intuitive to those around him.

“You sure everything’s okay?” he asks. They’re out casting fishing lines into the lake. Salted and jerkied fish may not have been Gavin’s favourite thing before, but it’s pretty tasty now.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Gavin says.

“Gav,” Michael says and Gavin stops what he’s doing. “Not with me. Not now.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“If you need to talk to someone, we’re all here for you.”

Gavin roughly turns back to work. “Yeah. I know,” he says and Michael eventually drops the matter.

But it doesn’t stop there with him. It turns into Jack gently asking if Gavin needed anymore food to it. Such a soft expression that it makes Gavin sad a little. Like he’s causing more harm than good, but he doesn’t really know what the big deal is.

“We have more than enough,” he reminds him gently.

And it’s true, they do, but Gavin declines. “I have things to do.”

It’s not like he’s completely voiding food. Lunch here and there. Quick breakfast to get back outside. But maybe it has become a noticeable problem.

When Ryan is better and more himself—though still bed bound—Gavin gathers up the courage to sit at his bedside for a little while.

“You look a little worse for wear,” Ryan comments.

“Mm? Oh. Just been working hard to fill your big shoes,” Gavin says lightly, but Ryan gives him a knowing look, and Gavin has to look away.

“You know, the others are concerned. Been keeping yourself _too_ busy I should say.”

“It’s nothing bad,” Gavin says.

“But it’s at risk of getting worse,” Ryan comments gently. “Have you been like this since I was injured?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.”

“You don’t eat when you’re stressed. You don’t want to make a fuss of it.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“You’re not the only one with disordered habits,” Ryan says. “I just wish you would come to us whenever you had a problem.”

“The thing is I don’t see it until it’s too late.”

“And is it too late?”

He shakes his head.

“Then let us help you before it does.”

He lets Ryan’s words sink into him, deep into his bones until he feels like he believes in them. One day he will but not that soon. But at least he has many people to look after and love him.


End file.
